Read this First - A little help to your newly arrived maid

Some employers may expect a maid, preferably a single, young woman from the kampong in a different country and a different culture, to settle down quickly and assume her new role as mother and housekeeper, sort of like a super maid. However, employers should bear in mind the differences that exist between peoples living in different countries with different customs, beliefs and at different stages of development.

The newly arrived maid who used to wash clothes by a river is dismayed when her employer chides her for being dirty and unhygienic. The bathroom she is asked to clean appears to her spic and span, a lot cleaner than her living room, if she had any at home. And when the employer shows her new maid a blackened finger she uses to scrape off a coating of dust on a ledge, the maid is understandably stunned. Worse, she thinks madam is a snooty nit picker.

Perhaps in her country children treat her with respect and so when little Ah Johnny pays no heed to her (who is only a maid) or, worse, calls her stupid, she is deeply hurt and wants to go home immediately. Maids, it appears, have feelings, too.

Loneliness in a foreign land is harder to get over. One silent prayer of a first-time foreign domestic helper is: "Let me have a kind employer." Employers have horror stories to tell and so do inexperienced foreign domestic workers. They have heard about "strict" employers. Her definition of a strict employer is one who frowns a lot and takes her to task for the "small" unavoidable mistakes during the period of adjustment. The first thing that bothers a first-time foreign domestic helper is being away from familiar faces. When she is homesick, everything else bothers her. If she makes a mistake and gets a ticking off, it is worse.

But if the employer and family are kind and understanding, she will be more productive. During the first months, if the family is understanding, the domestic helper will adjust faster.

Besides cultural differences, there is the problem of communication. Even native speakers misunderstand each other if they are not from the same country. English as she is spoken is different from English as she is spoken by Filipinos or Americans. It takes time for both parties to get used to each other's accent.

And some words mean different things to different people, which explains why some Americans wonder why we in Hong Kong live in a flat which to them means a punctured tyre, or is it tire.

It does very little to soothe a maid's feeling after Johnny calls her stupid to say: "Johnny is only a little boy and doesn't mean what he says; he calls me stupid, too!" But the maid is not really stupid. She can cook rendang or rellenong bangus; Ah Johnny can't. To people from a country with high unemployment, time is not a precious commodity. They are not caught up in the rat race and the newly arrived maid does not understand why her employer appears to her to be constantly in a hurry. When the employer tells her maid, "Hurry! Hurry! Faster! Faster!" or chides, "Why are you so slow, stupid!" the maid is confused and upset. And her apparent lethargy meanwhile drives her employer up the wall.

It is in the employer's own interest to be mindful of the differences and be a little patient with the new maid who is bewildered by a totally different environment. With some encouragement, foreign domestic maids ultimately make the grade. A few hundred thousand in the past have done so, as many employers have found out.

If the adjustment seem so tortuous, try a little kindness. It often pays dividends.

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Are any Domestic Helpers Employed in YOUR Household ? How to treat your helper as a member of family?
William Slater, ILO

It is difficult for most people to accept that domestic service is hazardous for children when virtually everyone in the middle or upper classes (in the Asia region) employs domestic helpers (some may employ children). Most employers of domestic helpers usually state that their helpers are well looked after, well protected, and generally "the lucky ones."

"I'd like to start by administering a very brief verbal questionnaire, so you don't have to fill out the forms. I'll just ask the questions and you can raise your hands to answer."

"Only one for both answers ... many people don't say anything. That's fair. I don't blame you. You may say that the application of the questionnaire wasn't very scientific, but there is a reason for it. I presume that all of you are here because you're concerned about the conditions of domestic helpers, and because you believe in most of the questions that were asked in the questionnaire. But I also believe that if you asked anybody on the street they wouldn't give answers so very much different from your own.

Most people would have said yes to all of those questions. And most people would agree that domestic servants are treated accordingly. But I am not sure that this is the case because the two people who were prepared to answer the last question (no. 11) were split 50-50 and we assume that this is the most sympathetic group of 20 persons to whom the questionnaire might apply. I'm inclined to think this would indicate, to some extent, why the issue of child domestic workers is one that is hidden or forgotten - a model so difficult to get people to react to - because everyone believes that domestic workers should be treated properly, and people believe they are treated properly (when, in fact they are not). Most middle class and upper class households in the Asia region employ servants (they may or may not employ children) try to tell them that domestic service is a hazardous occupation and, will threaten much of what they believe.

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